Bricks big day out

Yesterday I went outside. At first I was unsure of what to do but then I saw it, the number 34 bus. I walked up to the bus, there was no queue so I strolled right on and flashed the driver my pass. It was a double decker, I climbed up the cramped stairwell to the first floor. I was alone. I had no idea where I was going but knew I had to be on this bus. Fifteen minutes and numerous stops into my journey a small but well built man with large shoulders emerged from the stairwell. He moved to a seat opposite me even though the rest of the first floor was empty. After what seemed like an eternity but probably more like two minutes now I think of it the man turned to me and said straight faced "fancy a bum?". I stared into the mans eyes and replied "I've got one thanks". Needless to say I left the bus as soon as I could and Bricks big day out was ruined.